Oh ! Gosh what a day !!Just when I thought things were getting a bit better and enjoying my hugs and vibes from my on line friends, then it all went wrong. I was just about to go upstairs for my rest when my mobile phone went and my step Mum who has Alzheimer’s, was on the line trying to tell me that Dad had been taken into Hospital – I don’t even know how she found my mobile number let alone phone me as she cannot even answer a phone so I just tried to reassure her I would sort it out and get back as soon as I could.
Talk about finding a needle in a haystack – I live in Nottingham and my Dad in Manchester and my sister in Spain and thats our total family. Our respective kids are in Cheshire, London and Spain so you can appreciate how hard it was to find anything out. I knew Dad had been to the Manchester Royal Infirmary before with his Diabetes and had seen someone last week about his abscesses on his back so I tried there first. About an hour and a half later I found out that he had been taken to A & E for emergency surgery on the abscesses but they couldn’t get him to the phone and he wouldn’t answer his mobile even if I tried to phone him.
I explained that not only did I have Dad to worry about but that the carers with my step Mum would be leaving her and she cannot be on her own but they couldn’t help me much and just said Dad had not gone down to surgery and maybe try in half an hour. In desperation I phoned a friend of the family who said she would go to the Hospital and get Dads keys for the flat and go round to sort my step Mum out and fill me in on how Dad was.
By this time it was 5pm and I had still had no word from Dad so I tried the Hosptial again but they could only tell me that he was waiting to be assessed and that they knew he was a diabetic. I did try to ring my step mum but as usual she did not answer.
I can’t tell you how fast my heart was beating as I just didn’t know which way to turn. My sister would not let me drive over in the dark because of the medication I’d had today and my husband couldn’t take me as we are dog minding this week and although the dog we are looking after is ok in the car, out dog gets car sick so it would have just been another thing to worry about.
I decided to hang fire by the phone until I heard from anyone. At 6.30pm my Dad phoned to say he had been admitted and that he was going down for surgery and was having a general anesthetic within the next hour. He was obviously worried about my step mum but I reassured him we had it all sorted.
The trouble is Dad has Melanoma and after he had massive surgery on his chest last year they said he could not have another general anesthetic as his heart stopped twice during that long surgery. I obviously didn’t want to worry Dad so after I spoke to him I rang his Doc straight away who reassured me that they will have all his notes and that it is such a short surgery and that it was nothing to worry about. I then started telling him how bad my step Mum is and he was shocked that she had not yet gone into care as it was quite obviously too much for Dad to deal with.
The trouble is that its half Dads fault as he is frightened he will lose his regular carers that know my step Mum very well but he’s worn out which I’m sure will have contributed to his low immune at the moment.
I’m now sitting by the phone and will be phoning A & E at 10ish to find out how things went then I plan to get to bed and try and have a good nights sleep as I am going to go over at the crack of dawn to relieve my friend who will have slept in the chair all night. Then hopefully get my step Mum in care and then get my Dad over to me to recover so I thought I’d just put all this time as I may not be here for a while. I’m just hoping that my bag holds out as I just can’t deal with that as well at the moment so keep sending your vibes and hugs my way to get through this.