Well I’m back home again now, so exhausted that I don’t know what hurts most. My poor Dad has been to hell and back since Monday and was desperate for some tlc which I think I managed to give him. I just wish I was fit enough to do more.
The operation went well but because of his heart condition they decided against a general but gave him a local then at 11pm asked if he would prefer to go home. As the only other person on the ward was a prisoner surrounded by four guards my Dad opted to go home. They organised a taxi and took him down in a wheelchair but the taxi broke down on the way home and he had to walk the last two blocks after a day without anything to eat or drink ( bless him).
I left early and arrived late morning after getting stuck in a traffic jam and gave both Dad and my step Mum (who has Alzheimers) lunch which Id taken with me. My step mum was really, really confused but I think a lot of it was because she had not been fed while Dad was in hospital as her sister who was looking after her is also suffering from Alzheimers!!
I then got my Dad to bed and when my step Mums sister arrived I borrowed her keys to avoid waking my Dad up to go and do some shopping for them. Whilst I was walking round the supermarket my Dad phoned me to ask if I had seen my step Mums sisters keys which I explained to him I had taken to get back in without disturbing him. When I got back I found my Dad feeling worse lying on the bed – my step Mums sister sobbing with her head on the table and my step Mum none the wiser at all that was going on – to say it was chaotic is no joke !!!
What had happened was something that you would read in a good book or see on a tv programme, but not in real life. My step Mums sister thought she had left the keys in the main flats entrance door as she had forgotten I had taken them from her, so she went downstairs to search for them and locked herself out and so could not get back into the flats again. She then had to start ringing the bell to get Dad to open the door but Dad was asleep so my step Mum eventually realised that a bell was ringing and managed to shuffle into Dad to wake him up to open the door for her sister as she has no idea how to open it (Its a button under a counter).
I eventually got dinner sorted and got them both fed and I could see Dads colour coming back in his cheeks and so I thought I ought to make a move home. By that stage it was around 8pm and I was staying with my son and his partner in a new flat they are renting in the Peak District which was about 30 miles away from my Dad. I arrived about an hour later and after a cuppa and a chat I collapsed in bed and took a ton of meds.
I’ve went back yesterday and cooked meals until Saturday and listed it all for my Dad and had a long chat with the powers that be to organise rest bite for Dad but he’s now saying he’s not sure he wants to leave my step Mum, so thats another problem I need to sort out.
At around 3.0pm yesterday, I could feel myself slipping down and decided I needed to get home to bed but I felt so ill driving back that I had to stop for a sleep in the car and to take some more meds, buy some chocolate and drink a coke to keep me awake.
Today I’ve been resting but my mind is full of what I need to sort out for Dad – its going to take a while for him to recover from this operation and ideally he could come to me to recover if I could organise nursing care to tend to his wound every day. But, my biggest hurdle is persuading Dad that would be the best option.
I am in such a lot of pain today and feel so exhausted that I know I cannot manage to keep popping over to help him but I cant really think of any other option if he wont come to me.
I was lying in bed this morning watching GMTV and listening to Dr. Hilary explaining that most people with back pain have it bad because they are not using their muscles and just sit around all day. Well I can tell you now I have hardly sat at all of the past two days, apart from in the car and my back pain is terrible. I think people who have not experienced back pain do not understand that we sit or lie down because the pain is so bad when we stand or walk. You should have heard me shouting at the TV it did me the power of good.
Anyway, I know Im certainly not alone with these sort of problems but I must admit it did make me think that I dont think I want to get old, in fact I think Id like to just stay in my 50s for the rest of my life lol