When your having a bad day with chronic pain you immediately start thinking of ways to get rid of it (well I do anyway).
The last couple of days have been just like that.
Friday night was my first night out for a while and it was a simple nights entertainment at the local village hall. I usually take my own cushion but forgot which I guess did not help things, but I ended up having a pretty restless and uncomfortable night.
Saturday the weather was lovely so I decided to go for a short walk with Bess. I’ve got to walk a little more every day anyway so walked a little bit further. I felt fine. My husband then said he would take me to the shops to find a pair of shoes suitable for the bad foot so we popped into town.
By the time I got home I just needed to get to my bed. This is ‘MY’ way of dealing with my pain. They say time and time again that sleeping (or resting) is not good for your back, well they are so wrong in my case as it is most definitely the best treatment for my back.
I felt better after my rest and enjoyed the rest of the day watching TV and finishing my knitting project. However, on Sunday morning I woke up with my neck in a real mess. I was unable to look to my left, but put it down to a little bit too much knitting and decided to go on another short walk as the weather was so nice.
So far so good, so then I decided to set about making my Christmas cards. I do a number of them every year by recycling some of last years and cutting out the bits I like. Now I ‘LOVE’ doing this and it does help take your mind of other things (like pain).
I managed a few but soon got into difficulty with my neck pain so had to give up and put them away for a while. Hubby does lunch on Sunday so I decided to go for a rest to help perk me up a bit and help with the pain.
I felt a lot better after my rest so settled down to another evenings entertainment on the television. Pain was getting the better of me (in my low back) so I was a little restless and ended up going to bed to read my book (another thing to take my mind off pain).
Now, I do everything they say you should do when having a few bad days, i.e., focus on something else (yes), use head pads (yes) rest but not for long (yes) keep taking your medication (yes). But sometimes, and fortunately not all of the time, nothing seems to work.
Over the weekend I felt like an object of pity, an old women in black. Pain is introspective; it doesnt give a dam about the rest of the world. You feel like you will never be the same again but somehow time heals all types of pain be it emotional, mental or physical.
I’m not after sympathy comments nor and praise for coping with it so well, as sometimes, like this weekend, I was not coping with it well at all. But, I guess sometimes I do wish people did understand how totally and utterly exhausting chronic pain can be. It may not be life threatening but it is most definitely life changing.
PAIN AND PLEASURE, LIKE LIGHT AND DARKNESS, SUCCEED EACH OTHER
Laurence Sterne (1713-1768) British Writer