Dad’s slowly recovery from his op

Well I’m back home again now, so exhausted that I don’t know what hurts most. My poor Dad has been to hell and back since Monday and was desperate for some tlc which I think I managed to give him. I just wish I was fit enough to do more.

The operation went well but because of his heart condition they decided against a general but gave him a local then at 11pm asked if he would prefer to go home. As the only other person on the ward was a prisoner surrounded by four guards my Dad opted to go home. They organised a taxi and took him down in a wheelchair but the taxi broke down on the way home and he had to walk the last two blocks after a day without anything to eat or drink ( bless him).

I left early and arrived late morning after getting stuck in a traffic jam and gave both Dad and my step Mum (who has Alzheimer’s) lunch which I’d taken with me. My step mum was really, really confused but I think a lot of it was because she had not been fed while Dad was in hospital as her sister who was looking after her is also suffering from Alzheimer’s!!

I then got my Dad to bed and when my step Mums sister arrived I borrowed her keys to avoid waking my Dad up to go and do some shopping for them. Whilst I was walking round the supermarket my Dad phoned me to ask if I had seen my step Mums sisters keys which I explained to him I had taken to get back in without disturbing him. When I got back I found my Dad feeling worse lying on the bed – my step Mums sister sobbing with her head on the table and my step Mum none the wiser at all that was going on – to say it was chaotic is no joke !!!

What had happened was something that you would read in a good book or see on a tv programme, but not in real life. My step Mums sister thought she had left the keys in the main flats entrance door as she had forgotten I had taken them from her, so she went downstairs to search for them and locked herself out and so could not get back into the flats again. She then had to start ringing the bell to get Dad to open the door but Dad was asleep so my step Mum eventually realised that a bell was ringing and managed to shuffle into Dad to wake him up to open the door for her sister as she has no idea how to open it (It’s a button under a counter).

I eventually got dinner sorted and got them both fed and I could see Dads colour coming back in his cheeks and so I thought I ought to make a move home. By that stage it was around 8pm and I was staying with my son and his partner in a new flat they are renting in the Peak District which was about 30 miles away from my Dad. I arrived about an hour later and after a cuppa and a chat I collapsed in bed and took a ton of meds.

I’ve went back yesterday and cooked meals until Saturday and listed it all for my Dad and had a long chat with the powers that be to organise rest bite for Dad but he’s now saying he’s not sure he wants to leave my step Mum, so that’s another problem I need to sort out.

At around 3.0pm yesterday, I could feel myself slipping down and decided I needed to get home to bed but I felt so ill driving back that I had to stop for a sleep in the car and to take some more meds, buy some chocolate and drink a coke to keep me awake.

Today I’ve been resting but my mind is full of what I need to sort out for Dad – it’s going to take a while for him to recover from this operation and ideally he could come to me to recover if I could organise nursing care to tend to his wound every day. But, my biggest hurdle is persuading Dad that would be the best option.

I am in such a lot of pain today and feel so exhausted that I know I cannot manage to keep popping over to help him but I can’t really think of any other option if he wont come to me.

I was lying in bed this morning watching GMTV and listening to Dr. Hilary explaining that most people with back pain have it bad because they are not using their muscles and just sit around all day. Well I can tell you now I have hardly sat at all of the past two days, apart from in the car and my back pain is terrible. I think people who have not experienced back pain do not understand that we sit or lie down because the pain is so bad when we stand or walk. You should have heard me shouting at the TV – it did me the power of good.

Anyway, I know I’m certainly not alone with these sort of problems but I must admit it did make me think that I don’t think I want to get old, in fact I think I’d like to just stay in my 50’s for the rest of my life lol

Dads been taken to Hospital for surgery at 86 years young

Oh ! Gosh what a day !!Just when I thought things were getting a bit better and enjoying my hugs and vibes from my on line friends, then it all went wrong. I was just about to go upstairs for my rest when my mobile phone went and my step Mum who has Alzheimer’s, was on the line trying to tell me that Dad had been taken into Hospital – I don’t even know how she found my mobile number let alone phone me as she cannot even answer a phone so I just tried to reassure her I would sort it out and get back as soon as I could.

Talk about finding a needle in a haystack – I live in Nottingham and my Dad in Manchester and my sister in Spain and thats our total family. Our respective kids are in Cheshire, London and Spain so you can appreciate how hard it was to find anything out. I knew Dad had been to the Manchester Royal Infirmary before with his Diabetes and had seen someone last week about his abscesses on his back so I tried there first. About an hour and a half later I found out that he had been taken to A & E for emergency surgery on the abscesses but they couldn’t get him to the phone and he wouldn’t answer his mobile even if I tried to phone him.

I explained that not only did I have Dad to worry about but that the carers with my step Mum would be leaving her and she cannot be on her own but they couldn’t help me much and just said Dad had not gone down to surgery and maybe try in half an hour. In desperation I phoned a friend of the family who said she would go to the Hospital and get Dads keys for the flat and go round to sort my step Mum out and fill me in on how Dad was.

By this time it was 5pm and I had still had no word from Dad so I tried the Hosptial again but they could only tell me that he was waiting to be assessed and that they knew he was a diabetic. I did try to ring my step mum but as usual she did not answer.

I can’t tell you how fast my heart was beating as I just didn’t know which way to turn. My sister would not let me drive over in the dark because of the medication I’d had today and my husband couldn’t take me as we are dog minding this week and although the dog we are looking after is ok in the car, out dog gets car sick so it would have just been another thing to worry about.

I decided to hang fire by the phone until I heard from anyone. At 6.30pm my Dad phoned to say he had been admitted and that he was going down for surgery and was having a general anesthetic within the next hour. He was obviously worried about my step mum but I reassured him we had it all sorted.

The trouble is Dad has Melanoma and after he had massive surgery on his chest last year they said he could not have another general anesthetic as his heart stopped twice during that long surgery. I obviously didn’t want to worry Dad so after I spoke to him I rang his Doc straight away who reassured me that they will have all his notes and that it is such a short surgery and that it was nothing to worry about. I then started telling him how bad my step Mum is and he was shocked that she had not yet gone into care as it was quite obviously too much for Dad to deal with.

The trouble is that its half Dads fault as he is frightened he will lose his regular carers that know my step Mum very well but he’s worn out which I’m sure will have contributed to his low immune at the moment.

I’m now sitting by the phone and will be phoning A & E at 10ish to find out how things went then I plan to get to bed and try and have a good nights sleep as I am going to go over at the crack of dawn to relieve my friend who will have slept in the chair all night. Then hopefully get my step Mum in care and then get my Dad over to me to recover so I thought I’d just put all this time as I may not be here for a while. I’m just hoping that my bag holds out as I just can’t deal with that as well at the moment so keep sending your vibes and hugs my way to get through this.

Back Pain and the Wii Fitness Games !!!!!

Its been a while again, since I’ve been here but I have just been busy sorting through drawers and putting bits on ebay which once the children had heard about also gave me a load of their gear to put on ebay!!!

Then, last week I went and did something really silly. I was watching my husband playing tennis on the wii game and thought I would like a go and although he wasn’t that keen on me playing it, I managed to convince him that I could not possibly hurt myself with something so light.

Anyway – you’ve guessed it – I spoke tooooooo soon and on my fourth hit I felt something go in my back which wasn’t like a disc pain more like a nerve pain – just like someone had stabbed me in the back !!!! Will I ever learn ? I only wanted to have a bit of fun.

Well since then I’ve had to rest up and take extra medication and use heat pads as within a couple of hours the knock on effect to the rest of my spine was dreadful. By Saturday I’d already decided that if it was no easier by today that I would go direct to the Hospital and ask for an epidural or anything extra they could give me for pain.

Fortunately it seems to have settled a bit now and I’m coping on the medication I’m on but I was sooooo frustrated and mad with myself for putting myself in that position and although I know my family love me to bits, they were all cross because of the way I did it.

The nerve pain I get shoots down into my big toe but only comes on after bending over but you would be surprised how many times you do that, and I think that might push me to go back for some type of injection as a pain killer can’t really work on a nerve pain.

Still, their are people out there who are much worse off than me so I will keep my chin up and get on with it and might even start making my own Christmas cards today, propped up with cushions and using trays on cushions to work on – there’s always a way to do it somehow.

Neck Pillows & Back & Neck Pain

The lovely sunny Autumn days have got me out and doing a bit of walking after my hectic week and although I’m still suffering I do think the sun kicks the endorphines in.

I feel quite chuffed with myself this week after helping an online friend when she needed a bit of tlc and cheering up last week. We met through my blog and I think my ideas to help her pain have worked and she is also seeing another consultant.I was really chuffed that not only had I helped her but also that the friendship came about via my blog !!

I could actually just sit here and just type about anything and everything and probably some rubbish as well but the title to my blog is what I should be writing about so I’ve been doing a bit of a recky on articles on back and neck pain over the last week and have found some interesting posts on neck pillows for back and neck pain.

Pillows are so personal don’t you think? After my first cervical surgery I had to wear a collar so it didn’t really matter what pillow I had but after the second cervical fusion they did not advise one but neither did they advise any type of pillow, so I’ve stuck with the same soft type for years. So much so that if I go to a Hotel and the pillow is hard I find it very difficult to get to sleep.

However, they have now found out that certain neck pillows can not only help with the pain from disc injuries and whiplash but also for back pain, shoulder pain and even chronic pain.

There are obviously quite a few different types advertised and the tempa ones are advertised everywhere but when I started looking a bit harder I found one called a cervical traction pillow which had great reviews but I can only find it available in America and and its quite expensive.

I then came across another one in the UK called a water pillow which I have never heard of? this is a water based pillow which has been rated the top bed pillow over all others for improving the quality of your sleep and has been clinically tested and proven to be the best neck support pillow to reduce neck pain, shoulder pain and chronic pain. But, at around £45 it’s not cheap and I feel sure that is why I have not heard of this one before.

The makers are Mediflow but I found quite a few other sites that have them (including ebay) and they also advertise a travel one for £29.99 and a King size for £65.95 and then I found one on special offer with £6.50 off for £43.45 at but even then its more than my egg shell mattress topper and how can I be sure it will work for me?

I mean I know they say that its been rated the top bed pillow but surely after years of sleeping on a very flat one something like this would be really uncomfortable. I then tried to see if anyone hired them out,which you think would be a good idea as I’m sure more would sell that way. But again, I could not find any site that hired them out.

I would be really interested if anyone had tried this pillow as I am definitely thinking of buying one or maybe adding it to my Christmas present list but would be really upset if it did nothing for me. I’d love to hear from anyone who may have used these and their opinions on them.

Pain, pain, go away!!!!!!!!

Gosh, I haven’t felt this ill in months and months. I just don’t know what to do with myself except sleep to try to ease the pain but even then it keeps waking me up.

I guess I just totally overdid it as after London I had a wedding on Saturday and two events in one week is a no, no for me but I’ve not felt this bad for a long long time.

When we got back on Sunday I slept all afternoon and went to bed very early but the pain in my foot would just not settle down so I was tossing and turning all night. Yesterday I did the same again and thought I would feel a lot better today but in fact I feel worse and now I’m finding it really painful to walk on both feet.

I’ve got a ladies lunch I have been asked to today and just don’t know how I’m going to manage sitting through it even with my cushion but with it being for a charity I don’t like to let anyone down but would rather be in bed sleeping my pain away.

I took some photos of the fashion show last week which I meant to put on my blog with my last post about it, but just haven’t had the energy to sort them out but I will when I feel better.

I won’t come back and write another post until I feel better as they only become a bit of a bore.